Prayer for Heart Attack due to Criminal Harassment! 10.06.08

Heart Attack Prayer needs said in the behalf of this man-of-God who has already gone, like Jonah the length and breadth of Nineveh trying to convince people of God’s Word, and even farther than this city and its surrounding environs, villages, farms and towns!

This man who only days ago was pained so harshly in his chest, which then went into his back so pained, wandering then into both of his arms, keeping him up all night struggling to rest and could get so little in that condition and physical demonic attack!

His urgent need began while he listened to that woman Jezebel once again going about in all the halls of this house and outside his door, pounding on every door save his own! Once again accusing this man-of-God of another crime, another harassment, and other persecution against she herself, and heralding the matter again to all, save he, and his one benefactor that in this house be, telling of another one of his supposed vile deeds to this godless woman as she once again imagines his crimes so many done so often supposedly right against her liberties and person as well as some of the objects of her ownership!

For this woman Jezebel likes to pretend that he abuses her, that this man-of-God does; thusly causing discredit to him as a person and his ministry as well, showing him all to be evil and filled with some kind of vice and pride to constantly be going against her… when God’s Truth be told, it is always she who violates, slanders and constantly abuses him, the man-of-God! 2 Corinthians 10:1-6; 2 Timothy 4:14-16; Jude 3-19; Rev. 2:20-22

The Jezebel spirit has for so long been trying to both conquer the Word of God and those who minister it! And without those ministers of God “who do not bear the sword in vain” and those other servants of God that have been so ordained by the Lord Himself to serve and protect, and by their holy decrees “set the captives go free” from their oppressors, whomever they be, whether they be long established persecutors and slayers of “the Holy Innocents”, any of God’s people, whether prophets of/and Christ Jesus’ followers be, all the state, city civil and federal authorities called of God be, to set free the slandered, the persecuted and the oppressed! So that the Word of God in holy-innocent-victims lives, on their tongues and in their mouths shall hindered not be! St. Luke 18:1-8

The general and local and modern proverb tells “The best way to truly slay a man-of-God is to not listen to the Word of God he speaks!” And quenching his life by constant persecutions and the slander of her very tongue, as well as by her vain imaginations shall be the surest way to slay the man-of-God as well as the Holy Words he seeks to the many here in the city and abroad by any means to spread! Mt. 28:19-20; Mk 16:15-18; Acts 1:8

And when Nehemiah from Babylon did come to the ruined Holy City of God, first thing he did was to force the men-of-God that be toiling and tearing in their gardens and fields to provide for themselves, Nehemiah, restorer of the things and place of God he be, thus making God’s work and ministry of His Word in God’s House, for the men-of-God return! Now I know that when Jezebel and her friends my garden did ruin completely destroy; for me is God’s way, the ministry way anyway, so no more gardening distract!

Elizabeth Kantor’s “Queer Speak” and “Politically Incorrect… Literature” Book:

This is inspired by the ‘Post-Modern’ book by Elizabeth Kantor that I heard her lecture about… maybe not word-for-word, from her new book about things like “Queer Studies”… and what she reminded of about my experiences and culture in SF as well…
As San Francisco is my ‘hometown’ and in so many ways SF still affects me…

Kantor spoke about things intellectual and right up the alley of those living alternative lifestyles and I am trying to write a brief synopses here about what she had to say, and has a San Francisco Bay area person of the somewhat politically correct kind…

When I went to SF College and Berkeley and Harvey Milk Institute, and being the San Francisco Bay Area, a lot of animosity around of the more socially aware kind was going on and it was all about “Queer” culture and thinking and “Queer” was the word used to denote that kind of thinking, even if it was not your own lifestyle “Queer Speak” was all around and explaining everything from another perspective than before…

And even terms like “Breeders” for straight people were being used and “Dead Men Don’t Rape!” were slogans against hetero males and spray painted on SF city walls (and seen from streetcars and buses; and Gay men called one another “sister” and “girlfriend”, even the men who worked out at the gym and were all buff were into this new age and philosophy of liberal thinking that was Post-Modern Liberal Arts philosophy that took on a whole new way of expressing and living… that was whole new community way of viewing ourselves, one another and the world and society around us, and it was even a bit catty at times in its verbal expression… and even sometimes unkind and hateful…

The notion among many was accepted as well, one being that “men had been silently conspiring to oppress women since the beginning of time” as per Kantor… which ‘beginning’ is about six thousand years for Christians and millions of years, it would seem, even possibly billions of years for Evolutionists… for men to start oppressing the female gender… begin the idea of it…

And the lecture on intellectual TV by Author Elizabeth Kantor about her new book about “Politically Incorrectness English and American Literature” reminded me of all those San Francisco Area ways of viewing the world and ourselves and those that were thought still bigoted (whether they were or not), as many outside “Queer” thinking were hatefully viewed as unfriendly antagonists and Politically Incorrect monsters, and even the Holy Father of the Church who holds to and teaches Christian ideals that are as ancient as Jesus and His First Apostles and are even of the Jewish Thinking and Spiritual Tradition before then, the Pope became a bad guy too…

So San Francisco became a new age community for those who lived alternative lifestyles and the many wannabes, with their new philosophies and manners and political protesting parties such as the likes of “Act Up!” and some others… which bravely and sometimes brazenly marched like proverbial storm troopers and iconclasts ready to take on the world… beginning with our Federal Buildings and then the White House lawn and to the moon if need be, to stamp out oppression and to push anyone to the side that did not agree, or seemed a bit hesitant to the cause…

Like marching at “Stone Wall” as if still there now fighting for ‘alternative’ rights…

‘ready to fix all that’s wrong with the world!’

Incognito Diary of a Real, Living Christian Martyr… 08.21.08-08.22.08

Evicting the Righteous for being righteous!

Everything I fear, hate, and earnestly despise has become my prison, my oppressed life!

I am forced to live incognito now for personal safety reasons and was relocated here... to rot in a droll environment of mostly belligerent and ignorant illiterates!

Everything that I feared, hated and despised has come upon me and is daily affecting my life, ruining me and causing me to be utterly miserable!

My house where I moved into has other house mates and who have made it their mission to mistreat me, and though our landlord had made threats to evict people, they do not fear but comfort one another in the fact that they can continue to torment me as a Christian Believer and man-of-the-cloth, as I “deserve it for always being right”!

I was very friendly and helpful, reflecting Jesus in all that I did, but I have had to stop as the landlord has threatened to evict people for the trouble in the house between Christian goodness and deeds, and those who despise God and anyone that is truly good!

Our house has become an oppressive, spiritual prison, looking lovely from the outside, but metaphorically or prophetically speaking and comparing to Jesus’ words about tombs looking lovely from the outside but inside being filled with all filth, corruption and dead people’s bones!

I woke up this morning all quite depressed, realizing that our ‘good’ landlord is threatening to evict people across the board, good and bad, so that there will be peace in the house, and I myself have spent hundreds of dollars of my own income to improve and charm up our house into a quaint and lovely home, and I worked as a caretaker for free looking after the needs of our landlord to free him from worry to do all the other things that he must concern himself with, running a business or two, caring for his family and any involvement in his church as well, working seventy plus hours a week!

But since people here who are quite corrupt sabotage all the good that I do, destroying the things I have worked and purchased to bless our ‘home’ with, and even horrible slander me with their lies; the landlord claims that he will simply begin evicting tenants until apartments in his house are empty… to solve this constant, turmoil-filled problem!

I live in danger from a far reaching and dangerous syndicate of murder-for-hire, kidnapping, grifting and drug smuggling and manufacturing as well; and I live in a charming looking house that has now surely become an oppressive prison and tomb!

I no longer have anything to look forward to here, and I can no longer garden or work on the interior of our house, as my health allows! If there is any more trouble here, the ‘good’, Christian landlord will simply evict tenants here across the board until he has cured the problem here! And those causing all the trouble, being so very sneaky and sly, keep persecuting me and doing things to irritate me, doing things I will not here list…

But I will tell you this, whatever it means, but since the landlord’s relative has moved in as well, the smell of Marijuana has become quite rich in the household air! And my asthma has become a real problem!

And I worry, as once the house caretaker and now ill with migraines, nausea, right side paralysis and right ear bleeding; am I about to be evicted for being the victim of unruly and vindictive persons, and by our landlord who is threatening to evict the good with the bad to achieve peace and less interruptions to his already busy, seventy-hours a week plus, work weeks?

Is this oppression and are these threats real and/or necessary? (Oppression, persecution and threats of eviction! Oh my!)

745 Hyde Street, San Francisco, California! 08.14.08

I used to live at: 745 Hyde Street, San Francisco and was the happiest I have ever been in my life there! If one were to god to Google and then Map and then Street level they would see the six storied apartment building that I would purchase if I could and live there for the rest of my then blessed life!

I miss my home town of San Francisco generally and am so home sick all of the time for that splendid “Golden City” on the Bay!

I moved first to Oakland, having already lived in and gone to school in Berkeley for studies in writing…

I had a ministry opportunity at a seminary in Oakland, where on the streets at night, all night long every night, the bullets do all night fly! So for protection the best place to sleep at night is in your porcelain bath tub! And it was then and right away that I realized that I had given up my best life and best home and best friends, my whole life, my ‘own home’ and most all of my own friends!

People ask me how I can live in a sinful place and then miss it so much that I am always homesick for it, when it is just another “Sodom and Gomorrah” all over again? And granted coming home at night and getting onto or off of the mass transit systems there and/or walking towards home or to dinner or night school at any of the satellite colleges and universities through out the city and the general Bay Area, and seeing people in the dark shadows of city parks, side streets and alley ways and even behind dumpsters ‘making out’, and that mostly men on men doing the deed, nearly everywhere… at night; does in deed get old and almost unnoticeable and invisible to most every urbanite living there, after a while! Like the street corner papers or nasty rags everywhere, and that, wholesome persons with families would not really want their children exposed to on a daily basis… all that just becomes everyday life and invisible and unnoticeable for all the many and mostly single or if married, without families and having no children; become accustomed to and simply urban life!

Now I do not curse or swear and when I got silly about thing, I had internal boundaries…
But truly San Francisco is a beautiful and “Golden City” with views and décor and art and architecture, and fair weather that gets colder and even foggy, mostly in the summers there… which is all good for a fair-skinned, Englishman as I myself very much am!

The thing is, in “The City” so many there are sophisticated and aware and a lot of people there are usually well-read, some are creative, involved in social issues, and the most educated of persons where I live now, would be only common, everyday persons there!

So even the crude persons grinding their way to eternal Hell there at night in the shadows among the darkness of the side streets, the alleys, the city parks and behind dumpsters… are your daytime employers and business owners and your corporate bosses, and your socially involved and respected and sophisticates around “The City” and downtown as well! Right or wrong? But here every married man or family man or man with a girlfriend, educated or not, it seems to some, are all living their lives one way and another secretly as well… even living their lives “on the down low”, nearly all over the place! Grunting and grinding in the city parks and a few other places as well, usually in the day time, but at night as well, if they’ve managed to sneak out and away from their families or girlfriends for a little while? And some of them are even those who frequent and keep the city and counties Gay institutions in business and prospering as well!

I now live in a lovely red brick, ‘Southern Colonial” home here and it is quite lovely and quaint, and the inner décor is quite similar to the inner décor of my homesick missing 745 Hyde Street San Francisco top floor and wonderful western viewing apartment, that had Senator Diane Feinstein’s (“Lady Di”) several storied “Hotel Carlton” blocking some of what would’ve been a better view without her building blocking my view!

Here where I barely live now, the winters are too severe for a non-winter sport person to do anything out of doors besides get my vehicle sliding around like an ice-roller-rink, dodging pedestrians and other vehicles and even houses and buildings! And summers here are so extreme that if I do not sit inside under air conditioning and work at home; I blister from miserable heat rashes, developing constant migraines and other heat related illness… just for not staying in all of the time away from the intense heat and sun!

I miss the barely warm days of San Francisco and my career and my involvement caring for AIDS persons and Suicide Prevention and other non-profit inner-city programmes!
And I miss theatre and art and poetry and café life and friends that I could relate to, and although God told me that I was a “Missionary” at eight years of age, thirty-nine years ago now, was I not a “Missionary” doing all I did in my hometown there already, without giving it all up to then be stranded and poor here, seemingly doing nothing at all that really matters these days now and always suffering and limited health-wise here now?

Rents are so high there now and returning would require winning a lottery! I had a rent-controlled life there of only between $395-$525 a month anywhere I lived there, and it was only $495-$515 a month the whole time I resided at: 745 Hyde Street apartment building that has never left me the same and always wanting that life and its lovely circumstances back again! And I am still waiting for all the repairs to my credit from Identity Theft to process through and give me back my good name and the good credit score I had before I was drugged, kidnapped, put up for sale and then poisoned by a far-reaching drug and murder syndicate! Rents and a San Francisco lifestyle, minus for me all the boinking in the city parks, side streets, alleys and behind dumpsters in the shadows and in the night-time darkness, of course! I am just not into that kind of one-on-one ‘romance’ or yet, that kind of interactive interpersonal ‘group dynamic’! But of course there are some that would accuse me of being a “bigoted monster” for saying this and for thinking this way! And they have and even worse! And certainly my personal philosophies have dubbed me as “Politically Incorrect” now haven’t they now… even here aye?

“Diversity” is always welcome now-a-days, and most everywhere, unless one is a Christian ‘Dinosaur’ of the sort as I am… that does not condone carelessly dangerous lifestyles and promiscuous ‘romantic’ practises all over the place aye?

I am planning to donate most everything I have now to the local Teen Challenge ministry… do you know that one can be poor, or ‘cash poor’ but have lots of ‘stuff’… and ministries that rescue street youth and people on Smack and Crack and Crank, giving them new lives through Jesus Christ, Bible learning and a quick ceremonial dunk in some small or large body of water… and besides public and private donations, they also function through selling donated items in their local thrift stores as well!

I have so much ‘stuff’ now! But in San Francisco so many of us had open spaces and Futon sofas for beds and a lot of studio apartment living or whole flats or houses being shared by compatible or incompatible room-mates, flat-mates and housemates…
And there were tons of books everywhere and sometimes lots of art as well, and creativity and so many were simply living their lives as if they were ‘living art’ being expressed all over the place! And total opposites hung out together and socialized and clubbed and theatre’d and café’d together! Life there is lived to the fullest in that “Golden City”! Or at least it was when I was there!

I wonder how one could possibly find a ‘Patron’ or a ‘Matron’, at least one or two, maybe even more? Who would willingly and happily finance him to return to “The City” of his dreams and even the whole Bay Area, to set up their life there all over again and bring the joy back into their heart?

Are their any generous “Patrons” or “Matrons”, at least one, maybe two? Or maybe only a few or possibly more, who would like to help cure an aging Bohemian man of the ‘Missionary of Jesus’ sort, so he can live out the rest of his days where he belongs and did always seem to find his way and to fit in better? He is an orphan after all, and orphans need homes and security and a place to belong like anyone else? (Smiley Face goes here!)

I even think that a person can be just as ‘spiritual’ in a lovely place that is comfortable and niche-like for them; as anywhere else! And if that is not enough, I can always make a monk’s whip and flog myself just enough, to be miserable enough, to not be completely happy there… if that is enough to satisfy anyone who does not believe in total happiness for a practising Christian as myself am? (Smiley Face goes here!)

I have actually written so many stories about my life, friends and experiences, as well as even written a lot of poetry about life there as well; and I thought that I would share this little story, as well as my woeful mournings about my constant longings and homesickness for my old hometown of San Francisco and my most favourite studio apartment and my whole wonderfully related lifestyle there, at: 745 Hyde Street (crossing Sutter Street and just down the street from Cala Foods, near a Kosher-Muslim Pizzeria, and around the corner from cafes, theatre-life, bookstores, friends and EVERYTHING AND ANYTHINGS ELSE that anyone could or would ever-at-all want or need ever!!!

The Word of YHWH!

Who is the LORD and what is this Word that He calls to us to hear and obey?

Why should any of us hear and obey and LORD?

What right does He have to speak to us at all or to expect us to obey Him?

Can we not learn about Him in our philosophy and inspirational books but keep Him distant and unobtrusive in our lives as we have done already for so long?

The whole Word of God calls us to hear Him and to obey Him; the whole of His voice to us and to all people is calling us to hear Him and to obey Him! But why should any of us be expected to do so?

Couldn’t we just keep listening to those who have found our favour and our desire by calling themselves “wise” ones, and listen to them instead of God’s voice and His call to follow only Him and no one else, but His Word and those who are called to speak it as human megaphones or loudspeakers?

Many people and most people do, simply have “itching ears” wanting to only hear what pleases them whether it is true or not! If is panders to their lusts and self-centrednesses, then that is the only message they choose to hear!

The Jewish Prophet and Eunuch Daniel of Chaldea (Babylon) asks us to believe in the Ancient of Days on His throne coming out of Heaven on clouds and to believe in His Son coming down with Him! And King Solomon asks us. “Who is the LORD and Who is His Son that they may be revealed to us?” And St. John in his little epistles of long ago declares that those who are saved have both the Father and the Son, and if one does not have or believe in both; they are not God’s followers or spiritual offspring at all!

I was running a neighbour about yesterday on his errands and I had another stroke-like attack that I am told is really only crippling MS attacks, but these attacks are very crippling and very draining and they numb my right side and I cannot even talk! And when I do my thoughts do not come out as I am thinking them or my words to be! And I am reminded of the times when God would cripple and close the lips of His prophets not to speak for a while… for whatever God’s reasons for doing so are, and then He would unfreeze them and allow His prophets to speak His Words again! But for whatever reason, I returned home and to bed for several hours yesterday evening, and late I got up and put on prophetic worship music and worshipped God in Spirit with my spirit, and I prayed, and today I am walking about and using all my limbs and being to do things… including writing letters to friends, and blogging here today as well!

Who is YHWH and why should we listen to Him or to His Son Meshea Yeshua?

As far as me and my house, we will listen and we will obey! Amen, so be it! Shalom!